seasons.

We all experience seasons. Seasons of joy. Seasons of growth. Seasons of loneliness.

Whether distinct or fluid, these seasons begin to define we how reflect back on a given time of life. As of last week, Grant and I just wrapped up our first year of seminary–a season complete. Yet, it is a season not so easily defined.

In many ways, this has been a season of loneliness. We’ve made new friends who have been a joy and reconnected with old friends who have now become like family. But this place is still new. Roads still unfamiliar; people still undiscovered. We love our home by the mountains, but it’s still becoming ours. When I face west, my heart is warmed as I consider the ways in which God has been faithful to us here. Yet, I am still saddened by the loss of past communities we miss so dearly.

This has been a season of learning. And yes, I mean academically. We have been stretched in our capacity to retain information. Visions of blue book tests and research papers haunt our sleep. Fingers crossed that the gobs of content we’ve learned this year somehow sticks in our minds and becomes useful in the future.

By the sheer number of wedding invites we have on our refrigerator door (with more to come!), you would assume it was the summer after college. Christian college students: they can’t be stopped once they walk across that graduation stage. These future dates remind me that we have been in a season of celebration for our friends.

As of the past few days, I’m reminded of how this has been a season of comfort in the midst of grief. Some dear friends of ours out here are mourning the recent loss of their sweet baby boy. We hurt deeply with them. But in the pain, we have found comfort in confirmations of God’s presence. We celebrate the life this precious boy lived within his beautiful momma and the promise of an eternal reunion. We serve a God who loves us so.

This season has been confusing. I have cried in anger toward the Lord for situations that seem unfair–both for myself and others. I’ve spent nights laughing for hours with friends about everything and nothing. I have wrestled with anxiety and sadness and loneliness. I’ve praised God for bringing us to Denver and turned around the next day asking why we’re here. It’s been a season I’ve struggled to hear the voice of God. While I see the prayers of others being answered in this season, I wonder if God has passed me by.

This is real talk, friends. As we continue to reflect on this season and seek to define it, I ask for prayer. For us, for our dear friends who are hurting, and for our future here in Denver. I’m trusting God will continue to reveal our purpose and provide comfort.

Seasons are not always so easily defined. But I am trying to rest in the knowledge that God hears and sees us the same in each of them.