Dairy is my frenemy.

She’s like the friend you love to hate, hate to love, and want around all the time. She comforts you for a moment before she stabs you in the back (or in this case, the belly). She entices you with sweet treats before laughing in your face when your stomach is bloated like a balloon. And she’s everywhere. For the record, I don’t actually have a friend like that. But if I did, her name would probably be dairy.

I am lactose intolerant. My mother has known from when I was young, but I ignored her. In fact, I even worked at a Dairy Queen in high school. For nearly 3 years, I sacrificed my stomach to the addictive taste of blizzards, dilly bars, and perfect swirly cones. What a wise decision-maker I was at age 16. College was not much different. I thought, “I just won’t drink milk and go easy on the ice cream.” So, I opted for pizza, chicken alfredo, nachos, cheeseburgers, cheez-its, and any other processed cheese product I could ingest. Again, wisdom abounded.

It wasn’t until about 6 months ago that I really started to get it together. It was as if my brain finally caught up to my body’s plea for normal digestion. Sorry, small intestine. Your bravery is commendable.

This season of life (aka moving out of Indiana) has brought a lot of changes. Now, it includes gleaning myself off of as much dairy as possible. And it has SUCKED. Which is why there are multiple days I say, “Forget you, body! I WANT PIZZA.” After devouring said food to satisfy my craving, I pay my dues. Interpret as you wish.

So, señor and I have decided to do this together–sort of. We recently bought a subscription to eMeals (not emails, though often confused). “E” stands for efficient, easy, and everything-this-lazy-cook-could-have-dreamed-for. With 12 options of meal plans to subscribe to, we opted for Paleo. No dairy, lots of man-meat, and loads of veggies. A total dream, right? Uhh, mostly. Let’s get real. I’m still going to eat pasta because carbs are my life-blood.

On Friday, we had our first meal attempt with our new Paleo plan. AND LET THE RECORDS SHOW THAT I WILLINGLY ATE SALMON. I basted, grilled, and ate that salmon like it was my favorite meal on earth. To all the haters that still think I only eat cheese sandwiches, chicken nuggets, and mac n’ cheese: my taste pallets have matured! Never mind the fact that I still (often) eat 2 of the 3 items mentioned…Let’s focus on the positive: I actually like real food now.

DSC_2485DSC_2488DSC_2489DSC_2505(yes, we regularly eat on the floor)DSC_2508combo

Señor even made up a song about the food. That’s a good sign the meal was a hit. Or, it’s just further proof he really missed his calling as a freestyle rapper. Ok, ok–both are true.

I’m such a carb, gluten, and sugar lover that this new Paleo choice won’t translate into all my meals. I’m just not ready to break up with bread. It’s too emotionally taxing for both of us. But for dinners, I will gladly unleash my inner cave-woman.

Minus the whole hunting my own meat part.


4 thoughts on “paleoh-no.

  1. Pingback: healthiness (and other uphill battles). | TheStrongOnes

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