Our life is simple. We live in a tiny apartment, señor and I are learning to cook, and we spend most of our evenings with eyes glued to our computer or television screen catching up on the latest social networking goodies or Grey’s Anatomy cries. We also enjoy wandering to our neighbs’ apartment for some cuddle action with her kitty (I hate cats and the allergies they bring, but I love Winston). Presh.
This simplicity and I have a love/hate relationship. Who doesn’t love having minimal responsibility and having the “I’m a 20-something” excuse for every lazy day endeavor? But sometimes, I need more. A little more action, a little kick and spice, a little pop, sizzle, and burn…
A little battle royale.
Battle 1: New Wife vs. Kitchen
In the rink stands an unexperienced woman in one corner and the kitchen that taunts her with its fancy gadgets, utensils, and appliances in the other. Mincer, tenderizer, pulper, chopper, baster–what do these mean?! Homegirl has got some learning to do. But from the looks of it, I think she’s actually Sheen-winning. Up top!
Battle 2: Lazy Reader vs. Big Adult Words
When the words gaseousness, turgescence, purgative, and obfuscations appear in a book, you know you’re in for some head-scratching, eye-widening, brain-expanding reading. What happened to Curious George, where the only thing that stressed you out while you read was wondering whether or not his poor owner was going to find him wandering around the city before supper started? Those were the days. Now it’s curious reader against soul-piercing words and heart-breaking convictions. Let’s hope these tabbed quotes stick to more than just the page for awhile.
Battle 3: March vs. the A-Listers
Señor may know more about college basketball than I do, but he must have forgotten my extensive knowledge of the sport. Who’s got two thumbs and was a basketball statistician in high school? This girl. You can drop off my cool points right there in the comment section.
Current score: 27-26. Wifey leads.
Battle on, simple life!