I hope no one ever describes me as dramatic. And friends, if I am, slap my face silly. Last thing I want is to be one cat fight shy of starring on Real World: Upland…Umm, I just found the next greatest MTV show.
But I admit I need a hefty cry fairly often. The kind that makes you feel weak, tired, and like you want to put baggy sweatpants and an ugly shirt on and call it a day. Who cares if it’s 9 in the morning? You feeling me, ladies? And gents, I suppose. Ain’t no shame in bein’ the sensitive type. This week, I’ve had my fair share of those. Some sob fests were less pleasant and healing than others, but all necessary.
I.e. this morning. I have been unbelievably blessed by truth spoken over me since my last post. Between receiving a loving message from my grandma and hearing from a woman I haven’t seen in almost 3 years about God’s amazing work in her life through similar struggles, I’ve been overwhelmed with reminders of Christ’s acceptance of me and constant presence. I am truly learning that what is hidden in darkness will be revealed in the light; and when it emerges from the shadows, the enemy’s grip weakens to hardly nothing.
An incredibly beautiful friend shared the book Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning with me a few days ago; I am psyched and, admittedly, terrified to open its binding. A book that may expose even more layers of unhealed wounds and insecurities?
Tissues will be in arm’s reach. Always.
With it, she also gave me 4 pages (homegirl is awesome) of poignant Bible verses and quotes from Manning’s book to encourage this process of identity formation and being comfortable with having an intimate, exposed relationship with God. Hence, this morning’s mini-sob fest. I’d like to leave you with one of Manning’s quotes.
“While the imposter draws his identity from past achievements and the adulation of others, the true self claims identity in its belovedness. We encounter God in the ordinariness of life: not in the search for spiritual highs and extraordinary mystical experiences but in our scruple presence in life.”
I am so grateful for this girl’s friendship and others like her who walk with me and approach the throne with me during times of great insecurity and anxiety.
My heart is heavy but our God is redeeming it daily in small yet refreshing experiences. I pray he does the same for you.